Sunday, November 3, 2013

Lesson #20:

Lesson #20: Don't EVER Give Up


Teaching is hard. It has been a challenge returning to it after being in the "real" world of business for two years. Teaching, like I explained in my last post, is exhausting, both mentally and physically. This is the main reason that I haven't had time for other interests, including writing in this blog.

It makes me nostalgic for my previous life, one where I showed up to work at 7:30 and left at 4:30 and did not have to take anything home with me. I did not have to be "on" all day every day and I did not have someone constantly watching me do my job and evaluating me. I did not have to stay after work late to catch up before the next day, all the while feeling like I was never truly caught up. I did not have to forgo things I enjoyed such as reading good books, attending classes FOR FUN, making art, music and writing, hanging out with friends, cooking a nice dinner, working out, running, dancing, etc.etc.etc. Basically, feeling like a human.

It was all nice. I felt very well-rounded. But one thing I missed was feeling important. My job was not as essential as being a teacher. As a teacher, I shape and mold minds and people. I introduce worlds that had previously been unknown to my group of 7-8 year-olds. My classroom does not function with the same efficacy without me there. Each day I see my kids and help them to cross from point A to point B and when they struggle I go home, I brainstorm, and I come back the next day ready with a new arsenal of ideas to help get them there. Because I'm not going to let them fall back and be left behind. Because I care about getting them all to the other side. Because teaching is important.

It's true, we don't get paid what we should. So many people like to think that teachers are overpaid, considering their summers off and Christmas holiday. But if you put together all our hours that we put in during the school year (I usually arrive at 7am and leave around 6 or 7pm). I take work home with me and sometimes end up falling asleep with papers lying all around me. Weekends end up being the same. My husband and I spent one whole weekend grading papers in time for Progress Reports. I go to REQUIRED professional development classes after school and during the summer. Not to mention the fact that the job itself is so draining. There's no time or energy for other interests. Granted, there is a bit of a break over the summer, but it is necessary for sanity. Without it there would be no way to get through an entire year and go right into the next. Teachers are still human, after all. All told, the plight of a teacher is a difficult one.

I had a feeling last night that maybe teaching isn't what I'm meant to be doing. And perhaps there are other things I could pursue. But then another side of me came back with strength and dignity and shook me, saying "Andrea! Never EVER give up!". I thought of my kids. I thought of my ideas of ways to make things better. I thought of myself and the importance of what I do. I thought of progress. And I thought of the race.

I used to run Cross Country in High School. There is something very noble about that sport. It's kind of like teaching. There's not a whole lot of glory in winning Cross Country meets. There's a lot of sweat and exhaustion and early morning training and forgoing normal teenage activities during that time of year. But every time I would start the race I got into "the zone" and nothing mattered but me and my own pace and each breath going in and out my lungs in the same rhythm with my legs moving forward, right then left, right then left, right, left, right left. And once I was in that zone nothing could take me out of it. And you get that "runner's high". And sometimes I wouldn't even want to stop once I crossed the finish line because I had entered such a steady pace. I guess you could say that's how I'm beginning to feel about teaching. I'm in the zone. I can't stop now. I can't give up. And even today I'm putting together a new set of Math Centers and I'm organizing a lesson plan to help my struggling students from last week's topic, and I'm redoing a powerpoint presentation for the fourth time to make it even more engaging and informative.

So it is with teaching, and running, and life in general. Don't EVER give up.

“I ran and ran and ran every day, and I acquired this sense of determination, this sense of spirit that I would never, never give up, no matter what else happened.”     - Wilma Rudolph

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